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Mt. Pisgah

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This is Mt. Pisgah located roughly 1.5 miles from our house. Last week I decided to ride my bike out there and walk up. It wasn’t easy and a far cry from what I used to do for work outs, which is a humbling experience, but I was able to do it. I went out a total of three times last week. Today I rode my bike out again and went up twice (with breaks). By the end of 2014 I was living between my bed and the couch. Taking a shower was an effort and Bob had to do everything in addition to his job. I was also taking 5 or 6 medications and probably about 25 supplements. Now the only medications I take are bio-identical hormones (though I eventually want to wean off of them) and I take 4 or 5 supplements so I am thankful for what I AM able to do.

Focusing on what IS working in your life and the things that are good (Philippians 4:8) is so important, especially if you are trying to recover from an illness, chronic or otherwise. Constantly talking about how bad you are feeling, how much pain you are in, how miserable you are, etc. will only get you more of the same. This goes for physical as well as emotional illnesses. I KNOW it’s hard – I’ve been there and not talking about how I was feeling wasn’t easy, but it’s possible. I have been bedridden, I have been depressed, I have dealt with chronic pain, I have dealt with anxiety and so much more. There IS a way out and it starts with your thought life.

I don’t have it all figured out, I am still resisting symptoms, if I have been standing for a long time and don’t see a shift I consider seeing a doctor, getting testing done, and/or taking something to help me. But I don’t see doctors or supplements or medications as my healer. God is the only true healer. What is impossible for the medical community is possible for God, and He is a good, and just God. He is not some mysterious God who strikes people with illness, heals some but not others, or uses illness to teach us a lesson. Your earthly father wouldn’t inflict you with an illness to teach you a lesson (at least I hope he wouldn’t), so why do you believe that your heavenly Father would do so? Jesus healed all and Jesus came to do the will of his Father (see Matthew 4:23, Matthew 9:35, John 6:38 among others).

I stopped researching illness, I stopped listening to Lyme, Thyroid, Depression, and other summits, I stopped freaking out about every new symptom or mosquito bite, I stopped believing that the moon affects symptoms, I stopped treating Lyme disease, candida, and parasites, and instead focused on rewiring my brain and renewing my mind (Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 10:5). None of it was easy and some things are taking longer than others to heal, but I have seen more healing in the last 2 1/2 years focusing on my thought life and believing God for healing, than I did in the 9 years I was seeing doctors, popping pills, and doing crazy treatments at home. Like doing my own MSM (Methylsulfonylmethane) IVs or injecting my thyroid with procaine. Yes, I stuck a needle into my thyroid twice a week and injected procaine into it. I still can’t believe all the crazy things I did in an attempt to regain my health when there is a much better way. God!

This post is not intended to make you feel bad or to point fingers. Like I said above, I am not yet where I need to be, and I tried the doctor/medication/supplement route myself. My hope is that this post will inspire you to at least consider that there is a better way. Not necessarily an easy way, although it can be, but a better way and most definitely a less expensive way.

Here are some of the things that have helped me:

The Bible

Deliverance Ministry

Watch healing testimonies

Meditate on healing scriptures

10 Hours to Live (if you have a terminal illness this is a must read IMO)

God Wants You Well

Spirit, Soul, and Body


Jesus Paid for our Healing

All Healing School Teachings

Healing School (Teresa Houghteling)

Terradez Ministries Q&A

If you have questions, just want to chat, or if you want prayer, please contact me. I would be honored to pray for you.

The First Year

On January 4, 2016 my mom passed away in her sleep. My brother was with her. She is with God now. She is free of pain. She is free of worry. She is free of sorrow. She is free of lung cancer, breathing problems, COPD, anxiety and fear. She is in a better place (1 Corinthians 15:40-49). I know all this and I am happy for her, but my heart aches. It physically aches. Today, the pain is as intense as it was the day she died. I ordinarily love being alone yet right now spending the whole day by myself produces anxiety. Grief changes you in ways you can’t imagine.

The first year is the hardest. Going through all the holidays and anniversaries without your loved one is painful to say the least. You know it will be, but nothing really prepares you for how much it actually hurts or all the emotions it brings up. You want to make it stop, you talk to friends or family, thinking it might help, but the only way out is through.

The past 15 months were hard…so hard. Three trips to Germany, 5 weeks spending every day at the hospital, sleeping at the hospital one of those weeks, taking care of my mom at her house, losing my mom, selling her house, chronic back pain, getting bitten by a dog, surgery to repair two torn tendons in my right middle finger, six weeks in a full hand splint, painful physical therapy and dealing with chronic health issues. Between the physical and emotional pain and missing my mom there were days I didn’t want to go on. But there were also many good things in the past 15 months. Bob and I are closer than ever and I am closer to God than ever. I am closer to my brother. I got to spend time with family and friends in Germany. God has healed me. I am off all medications, some of which I had been on 20 years! I may still have a few symptoms but in my heart I know I am healed. The fact that I can see so much healing, despite grief, 3 difficult trips to Germany, getting bitten by a dog, and a surgery, is a testimony to God’s power, love, and goodness.

So today I am allowing myself to grieve, to feel the pain, but I am also finding gratitude in the many blessings in my life.

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted
    and binds up their wounds.

I Am Healed

I have been on a journey of healing for many, many years. That journey started around 2003 and despite seeing many doctors, naturopaths, herbalists, and other health practitioners, and trying just about any treatment out there I could find, I kept getting worse. Each practitioner had another diagnosis to add to the previous ones. Eventually I stopped working and was mostly housebound. My life had changed drastically. I went from being a vibrant, energetic person, working a full time job, working out 6 days a week, with an active social life, to spending most of my time sitting on the couch watching TV. It was like something inside of me had died and I couldn’t focus, concentrate, or remember anything. In 2011 I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease and co-infections and I was actually excited. It seemed like the answer to all the symptoms I had and why I hadn’t gotten better. I started seeing Lyme specialists in Seattle, hoping that this would be the end to being sick, but after two years of treatment, I was still stuck at home for the most part, on tons of medications, and taking about 35 supplements a day.

Fast forward to October 2014…my husband Bob and I had just moved to Holland, MI from Nashville, TN and it was a rough move. My health had started declining even more beginning of 2014 and I was dealing with chronic pain on top of fatigue and a host of other symptoms. I had been taking hydrocortisone for adrenal insufficiency for 5 ½ years and was on 47.5 mg a day – a fairly high dose. A wonderful friend of mine told me about “Be In Health” (BIH) in Thomaston, GA. I had tremendous anxiety back then (from all the hydrocortisone, which I didn’t know at the time) and making decisions was incredibly difficult for me. After discussing it with Bob and praying about it we decided that I should go. We committed to the first week which, was a course called “For My Life.” I had spoken to someone who had been to BIH and he suggested staying for the course taught the second week, titled “Walk Out Workshop,” but we wanted to see what things are like first.

I met a lot of wonderful people and the information was life changing for me. The overall message was that God still heals today and healing is for all. I decided that week that I would stop all treatments for chronic Lyme and other illnesses and trust God for my healing. On Wednesday of that first week Bob and I were trying to decide if I should stay another week. Booking that day would give us a reduced price but I simply didn’t know what to do. I was enjoying the information being taught, but money was tight with one income and huge medical costs. Later that morning the receptionist approached me and told me that someone had anonymously paid for the course and lodging for me for the following week. I was blown away and obviously I stayed.

Some people receive miracle healings while at BIH – I didn’t or at least I thought I didn’t. After I returned home I continued to get worse and by November I was couch ridden and in so much pain I was taking Vicodin every day. I was in a dark, dark place that I thought I would never come out of. Bob suggested that I am already healed but I sure didn’t feel like it. However, that planted a seed and a few days later, as I was getting up in the morning, I realized that I felt my “best” first thing in the morning and then declined throughout the day. I took hydrocortisone first thing in the morning and then throughout the day in smaller and smaller doses. I considered what Bob had said and decided not to take any that morning.

Side note: One of my doctors wanted me to wear a medical bracelet so doctors would know I am on this medication. He said if I am in an accident and I am unconscious, they would not know to give me hydrocortisone and I could die because my adrenals had shut down and were not producing any cortisol on their own. I had also been told I would never be able to stop this medication because of the length of time I had been on it. When people DO get off hydrocortisone they need to wean very slowly. The suggested schedule is reducing the dose by 2.5 mg, to stay on at that dose for 7 to 10 days and if you feel good, reduce another 2.5 mg and so on.

Bob and I were going to leave Wednesday before Thanksgiving to spend the holiday with his family in Florida and then to take a cruise starting that Saturday. The way I was feeling I could not see being able to travel. I barely made it out of bed and to the couch in the mornings. Bob had faith that things would turn around so he left that Wednesday and we changed my flight to leave that Friday.

On Tuesday I skipped my morning dose of hydrocortisone but took some later in the day out of fear. I cut my dose from 47.5 mg to 27.5 mg that day. On Wednesday I took none and although I had excruciating back pain, I had more energy and clarity of thought than I had had in a long time. Friday I flew to Florida and Saturday we went on our cruise. That was the first miracle. I did have pain and my only explanation is that all the hydrocortisone, which my body didn’t need, caused inflammation and also really low levels of magnesium.

I wish I could say the rest of my health improved drastically but I still had a lot of ups and downs and eventually went back on some natural adrenal support supplements (adrenal cortex extract). I still chose to trust God for my healing and the only reason I was seeing a doctor was because I was still on thyroid medication, prescription potassium, and a few other medications. I did however give up on what is taught by BIH because it was just too sin oriented and I felt condemned most of the time and found myself repenting all day long but not seeing any healing. If healing was dependent on sin, and we are all sinners, then where does God draw the line? It didn’t make sense to me.

In 2015 we had to leave our rental home and bought a house. Because we could not find a house by the time we had to move out of the rental house, we lived with friends (with our two dogs) for a month and then in a vacation rental for another month. One of our dogs was 18 years old and not doing well and we made the very difficult decision to say good-bye to her while we were still living with our friends. A week before closing on our house, while we were still in the vacation rental, my mom was taken to the hospital in Germany. She had been struggling with her health for a while and had trouble breathing. The initial diagnosis was pneumonia and also end stage COPD. Because of the breathing issues she had a difficult time talking so I was only able to talk to her for a couple of minutes a day.

We moved into our house on October 3rd and I flew to Germany October 5th. During my stop in Detroit Bob called and said the dishwasher had backed up and flooded our kitchen and basement. I got to Germany the morning of October 6th. My brother picked me up, we drove straight to the hospital, and a couple of hours later my mom had a lung biopsy. Two days later we got the diagnosis – stage IV lung cancer. There was nothing they could do because the type of tumor she had did not respond well to chemo therapy, because of COPD surgery was not an option, and because the tumor was filled with fluid they could not do radiation. Her doctor said, “If she makes it to Christmas this year it will be her last!” Intellectually I understood what was happening, but emotionally I could not wrap my mind around the fact that my mom could be gone in a matter of weeks. On top of all this I was still dealing with chronic pain and fatigue and a host of other symptoms.

I spent 6 weeks in Germany. Five of those 6 weeks my mom was in the hospital. I stayed with my brother and spent about 12 hours every day with my mom at the hospital. The last week I was there I took care of her at her house with the help of my brother and other family members and friends. I came home for 4 weeks and went back to Germany December 15th to spend time with my mom and take care of her. My brother had been staying with her while I was home. Bob joined us on December 23rd. He left January 1st and my mother passed away in her sleep January 4th. Bob came back for the funeral, he left a few days later, and I stayed until February 7th.

By the time I came home I was exhausted and wasn’t sure how to go on but was free of pain about 90% of the time. While I was in Germany I had heard of a clinic called Infusio located in Frankfurt that had success treating people with autologous stem cells. In Germany it is legal to extract stem cells from the blood and then add proteins called cytokines to make them multiply before re-injecting them back into the patient. This process is not approved yet in the US. While I was in Germany I had gone to the clinic for some testing and had gotten an estimate of roughly 15,000 Euro for 2 weeks of daily IVs (vitamins, minerals, and natural antibiotics) and the stem cell treatment. My mom had left us some money so we would have been able to pay for the treatment. I had to go back to Germany one more time anyhow to settle my mom’s estate so my plan was to do the treatment while I was there. The clinic was a 35 minute drive from my brother’s house and it seemed like this was the right thing to do.

Shortly after coming home I got an email from a young woman I had “met” on a Yahoo group and over the years had “seen” on other Yahoo groups all related to health and healing. She had been very sick and it seemed she was in worse shape than I was. In her email she told me that she had been using a brain retraining program for 1 ½ months and was happily getting better. The program is called the Dynamic Neural Retraining System. Another friend had actually told me about it early 2014 but it was when I had all the anxiety and I chose not to explore it further back then. I followed the link, looked at some of the testimonials and figured I had nothing to lose. It would be a few months before I was going back to Germany and the DVDs were $250 with a money back guarantee. That sounded better than 15,000 Euro and daily IVs and worth a try.

I ordered the DVDs and one of the first things the creator of the program said on the DVDs was that it’s best NOT to do the program during stressful times like losing a parent, buying or selling a home, and other stressful events. I decided to try the program anyhow and began my brain retraining March 13th, 2016. It is suggested to do the brain retraining for at least 6 months but some people take longer depending on how long they have been sick, stress level, and how much they have going on. The program is not faith based but it reminded me of 3 key scriptures:

Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

2 Corinthians 10:5

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Phillippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

In addition to one hour of actual brain training exercises, the program involves NOT talking about illness or symptoms, and catching negative thoughts and redirecting them. The one hour of brain exercises is typically split up into four 15 minutes sessions or three 20 minute sessions referred to as rounds. Catching negative thoughts all day long is a lot of work but I was determined to get better and get my life back. I incorporated scripture into my training and also focused on scripture when redirecting my thoughts. I had almost immediate results with energy and this started some ebb and flow with the adrenal cortex extract I was taking to support my adrenals. My digestion improved rather quickly and I was adding more and more foods, but also still taking digestive enzymes and HCl (hydrochloric acid) with every meal.

The brain retraining program also includes incremental training and a training zone, which is different for everybody depending on their diagnosis. For example, a person with multiple chemical sensitivities might take a small smell of a bottle of shampoo and then immediately do a round of brain training. This is based on the concept of “neurons that fire together wire together” and teaches your brain to associate smells with something positive. The same concept is used for activity/exercise, foods, and anything that healthy people do that you are unable to do because of your diagnosis. I realize that this may not make a lot of sense but this post would get too long if I explained the entire program in more detail. I encourage you to check out the link I provided and read more about this program as well as neuroplasticity in general.

In May I went back to Germany for 3 weeks to settle my mom’s estate and felt confident that I did not need the stem cell treatment. Although I wasn’t healed (yet) I was seeing improvements. I got back from Germany May 23rd and on Monday May 30th, while out walking, I was bitten by a dog. I ended up in the ER for 4 hours and had 2 torn tendons in my right middle finger in addition to a puncture wound on the tip of my left index finger. That Friday I had surgery to repair the two tendons and was put in a splint that kept my hand/fingers at a 90 degree angle. I am right handed. The pain after surgery was awful and so was every occupational therapy session I went to twice a week for about 9 weeks. I had to wear the splint for 6 weeks. It looked like everything was healing nicely, but after the splint came off, and continuing OT and exercises at home, I had hardly any movement in my right middle finger. The doctor said that the tendons were scarred in and I needed another surgery to remove the scar tissue. He said with this additional surgery I could possibly get 50% functionality in my finger.

The reason I mentioned everything that happened with my mom and the dog incident is because I was making steady progress with my health despite all the stress. I had already been mostly pain free when I started the brain retraining program and many other symptoms were improving. However, towards the end of June I started feeling worse and was even starting to have back pain again. I did sessions with DNRS coaches, which helped to a degree but still, something was off. I started to have pain more and more often and my energy declined. Eventually I realized I needed to stop the adrenal cortex extract and after some withdrawal and a few rough days I felt better.

In July a friend from Facebook had just come back from BIH and realized I had gone to BIH in 2014. We talked on the phone and she asked if I wanted to be added to the Facebook group of women who had gone to BIH the same week as she had. I almost said no, since I had decided not to follow the BIH teachings anymore, but something prompted me to say yes. I was added to the group and shortly after I joined the group the women on the group started posting about Andrew Wommack. I started listening to some of his teachings, the healing school archives, and other teachers associated with him.

Like BIH they were teaching that God still heals today but it wasn’t sin based. It was a completely different message about God’s love and that He wants people well. They were also teaching that healing is part of the atonement which is not what I had been taught. At first I was confused and wasn’t sure if I should continue to listen to these messages. But I was getting worse and once again figured I had nothing to lose. I asked God to show me if I needed to stop watching these teachings but felt good about them. The messages were actually similar to the message taught on the DNRS DVDs – transform your mind, take every thought captive, focus on the promises, not the problems and healing will come. Andrew Wommack does regular conferences titled “Healing is Here” and I was considering attending one of them. Something inside me felt that maybe God would heal my finger at the conference and I would not need another surgery, plus I wanted healing for everything else that was still going on. So instead of having another surgery to repair my finger I chose to go to the conference end of September in North Carolina, hoping to receive a miracle healing. My health was declining, I was back to having pain more often than not, and I didn’t know what else to do. The conference was amazing and I went up to be prayed for at every opportunity but left the conference seemingly unchanged. My finger was still stiff, I still had pain, and I was still fatigued.

I didn’t give up. I continued the brain retraining and continued watching teachings by Andrew Wommack and other pastors associated with his ministry. One of my favorites, a 9 part series on Youtube titled Jesus Paid for Our Healing, really spoke to me. I also started speaking healing over myself, I started taking authority over symptoms and illness, and started proclaiming my healing. I continued to feel worse.

I had also been made aware of a deliverance ministry at one of our local churches. I had gone for a dental cleaning in August and the usual dental hygienist was not there. Someone was filling in for her that day and as she was going over my health history she mentioned she has a friend with chronic Lyme disease. I told her that I had stopped treatment and had given my healing to God which prompted her to tell me about Wellsprings of Freedom. She was excited about it and so was I as she was sharing more about it. I looked at their website as soon as I got home. Bob looked at it and we didn’t see any red flags but for some reason it took me a few weeks to finally call the pastor heading up the ministry here in Holland, MI at Central Weslyan Church. I went for a pre-assessment and then was scheduled for a freedom session on October 22nd, 2016. The session took 3 hours and was intense. Once again I had hoped to be free of back pain after the session but instead it increased during the session. It was disappointing but at the same time I felt this immense peace and I knew that something had shifted. What I did notice the days following the session was that I was able to hear God more clearly and I actually enjoyed reading the bible. For years, whenever I sat quietly to ask God questions I never felt like I got any answers. My mind was always racing and it was too hard to really listen, but after the session my mind felt more quiet and I started hearing God speak to me.  I used to read the bible and feel completely empty, but now things jump out at me when I read the Word.

A few days later I realized that I was able to “grab” things with my right middle finger better than before. I had been speaking healing to my finger and taking authority over the scar, commanding it to dissolve and release the tendons. I stopped what I was doing and tried to bend my finger and realized I had about a 30 degree bend!!! A week or so after that I noticed that the white spots on my fingernails were gone. All of them! I had had them for years and was told it was due to a nutritional deficiency (most likely zinc). Various doctors had given me supplements to correct this deficiency but nothing ever changed. It just seemed like my body wasn’t absorbing nutrients all these years but now it is!

On October 25, 2016 I wondered if my thyroid medication was part of the reason I was feeling worse. I didn’t see how it could cause back pain, but I was also fatigued and occasionally had heart racing. Some days my heart was fine, other days going up one flight of stairs was too much. At that point I had been on 1.5 grains of Nature-Throid for 20 years, and on 50 mcg Cytomel for the past 7 years – both medications for hypothyroidism. I had already taken the Nature-Throid that morning but decided to skip the Cytomel which I normally took in 4 divided doses throughout the rest of the day. I started feeling better that day and the next morning saw a huge increase in energy and mood and even my back felt better. I took a third of the normal Nature-Throid dose that morning and it increased my heart rate so I decided to just stay off both meds for a day or so. I figured that it just needed to clear my body and then I would go back on a lower dose except that I never did go back on it because any symptoms of hypothyrodism are gone. I have been OFF both thyroid meds for roughly 4 weeks now and I feel so much better. That is the second miracle!

Many people doing the brain retraining programs are able to reduce or stop medications and supplements, but it is usually done with incremental training mentioned above.

Two days after stopping thyroid meds I realized I was on way too much magnesium and potassium chloride (this is slow release prescription potassium and more potent than OTC potassium). The reason it was so hard to tell that I didn’t need thyroid meds anymore is because some of the problems associated with too much, like heart racing for example, were counteracted by the magnesium and potassium. I stopped the potassium and greatly reduced magnesium.

I had relief from pain for a few days but then it came back. Once again I was pretty disappointed. There had been many times when I had taken authority over pain and it worked, but other times it did nothing. I then realized that I also didn’t need DLPA and 5-HTP anymore. I had taken DLPA for about a year and 5-HTP for 20 years!! I realized they were causing problems like fatigue, depression, and pain, some of the same things they had initially helped with. There was some unpleasant withdrawal for a couple of days but I decided to stick it out. I also stopped taking kratom (I had been using it for sleep the past year), chromium, B5, Wobenzym and a host of other supplements cold turkey.

Somewhere during all this time I also stopped taking digestive enzymes as my body just didn’t need them anymore but I was still taking HCl with every meal. I had reduced from 5 to 3 using the incremental brain retraining but was sort of on hold there due to all the other changes I had made. On November 10th, 2016 I had my second freedom session at Central Weslyan. I had taken 3 HCl with breakfast and lunch that day like I always do. I had the freedom session at 1 PM which was also powerful but didn’t take quite as long as the first one. That night I took 3 HCl with dinner, as usual, and sometime after dinner had a horrible burning sensation in my stomach. I knew it was from the HCl and since then I am off HCl without any kind of incremental training. I just don’t need it anymore and that’s after 12 years of taking it with each and every meal, always carrying them in my purse in case we stop to eat somewhere, and spending tons of money on it and other supplements.

Although I was feeling better in some ways, I still had some unpleasant symptoms that were confusing. The brain retraining program teaches that symptoms are caused by a limbic system dysfunction, but I had also seen several times now that taking something your body doesn’t need anymore can cause symptoms as well. I had been put on a lot of antihistamines in 2014 and was still taking 1 Benadryl at night, ½ of a 24-hour Allegra in the morning, and 1 mg of Ketotifen (a mast cell stabilizer and prescription medication) with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Last week Thursday I skipped the Benadryl at night, and Friday I skipped the Allegra and Ketotifen. I had tried stopping antihistamines before and had had horrible withdrawal but this time there was nothing. The next day another symptom was gone.

I had also started waking around 3 AM every morning and then sort of going in and out of sleep until about 5:30 AM. Some mornings I couldn’t make it past 4:30 AM. Because of years of researching illnesses and symptoms my first thought was adrenal fatigue. Then I wondered if I had stopped things too fast and Sunday I added in some OTC potassium, hoping it would eliminate the early morning waking. Although I had seen relief from symptoms by stopping supplements and medications I assumed it must be something else. The only things I was still taking seemed harmless – magnesium, probiotics, colostrum, Vitamin D.

Yesterday morning I woke around 3 AM again, went back to sleep until 4 AM and then just could not go back to sleep. I also had more back pain than the day before. I just didn’t make sense that God would heal my thyroid and digestion and so many other things, but not my adrenals. Around 9 AM, feeling tired and worn out, I went back to bed and started talking to God. I asked him what was going on and what I needed to do and “heard” that I should stop it all. I knew He meant supplements and my immediate response was, “even the probiotics?” I heard Him say Yes but then I questioned if it was really God talking to me. What if it was just me making stuff up in my own head but I heard Him say to trust Him. Earlier that morning, when I had woken up around 3 AM, I had heard Luke 8 as well, but had forgotten about it by the time I got up. I reached for my bible and asked God to show me what I needed to read and Luke 8 came up again so that’s what I read. I asked God to show me what He wanted me to see in this chapter and the part that stood out to me was the woman with the issue of blood. If you are not familiar with this story, it is one of the miracle stories in the bible and also mentioned in Mark 5 and Matthew 9.

Luke 8:43-48 NIV

As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. 43 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years,[c]but no one could heal her. 44 She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.

45 “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.

When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.”

46 But Jesus said, “Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.”

47 Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed.48 Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”

I have always liked this story and it probably spoke to me because she had been sick for so long and had not been helped by doctors. But what I hadn’t noticed until I listened to some of the teachings by Andrew Wommack and Barry Bennett is that SHE determined her healing. Although it was the power in Jesus that healed her, she took that healing because Jesus didn’t even know who had touched her. Matthew 9:21 says, “She said to herself, ‘If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.’” She made that decision.

So as I was reading this story again, and the fact that Jesus told her that her faith had made her well, I considered stopping everything. We are going to leave tomorrow to spend Thanksgiving with Bob’s family and then a 7-night cruise that Saturday, just like in 2014. It seemed crazy to stop everything, even the probiotics which had helped me so much when I had first started them, two days before going on vacation. But that’s what I had heard God say and if I am healed, then it would make sense that my body would react adversely to even the seemingly harmless supplements. I had already taken some magnesium and potassium yesterday morning but skipped everything else that day and night. I had thoughts of fear come at me throughout the day but kept reminding myself that fear is not from God and I stuck to my plan. Later that morning I was at the store for some last minute shopping and went to get some more pain relieving gel since I was almost out of mine. As I went to grab it I heard God tell me that I don’t need it anymore. I put it back and left the store.

So what I realized is that I AM healed. God healed my body and my body is working perfectly on its own without all these supplements. There may still be some small symptoms manifesting but I know in my heart that those are just from the enemy’s lies and limbic system cross wiring and the more I focus on the healer and the promises, those symptoms will go away. Six weeks ago I was taking 7 medications and roughly 20 supplements and now I take nothing. Overall I am already so much better. I have sustained energy. I rarely sit on the couch anymore. Now I exercise, walk my dog, run errands, clean my house, rake leaves, and do stuff that normal people do. I am sleeping better. My heart rate is completely normal even when I exercise. I am choosing to eat a Paleo diet (for now) but if I want something different I eat it and I feel great. I am starting to remember things, I can focus, and I have deductive reasoning again. I have clarity of thought. For years I felt trapped inside my head – literally. It felt like the real me was somewhere in there but *I* was trapped in a box inside my head. I have peace even when symptoms hit because I know that the power inside of me is greater than any power and I have authority.

If you are struggling with health issues I encourage you to check out the brain retraining program I mentioned above and to watch the videos I linked to above. It will transform your life. If you are a follower of Christ and you think God is using your illness to teach you something or draw you closer to him, please consider that this too may be a lie from the enemy. God is bigger and more powerful than that. He does not need you to be sick to communicate with you or draw you closer to him. He can use so many different ways to get your attention and talk to you and he doesn’t need an illness to teach you something. God loves us more than any earthly parents can love their children, and He wants all of us well. Spend time with Him and in the Word.

If you are not a follower of Christ check out this link and then get in touch with me. I would be happy to talk to you about what this means. God is good and He is love and He wants you well. He loves you more than you can imagine and there is nothing you can do – NOTHING – to stop him from loving you. He has healed me and you are just as special to Him as I am.

Here are some of the things that I was healed of:

Chronic Lyme Disease and Co-Infections

Parasitic Infections

Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth


Digestive Issues

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome


Adrenal Fatigue

White Spots on Fingernails

Chronic Low White Blood Cell Count



Leaky Gut/Malabsoprtion


NOTE: Please DO NOT just stop your medications or supplements. This is my story and God spoke to me. Your healing journey will most likely look different than mine, so please consult your doctor before you make any changes.


In the busyness of life, renovating our house, going to concerts, or spending time with friends, I sometimes don’t think about it. For a brief moment life feels almost normal. But never very long and then it feels like it’s hitting me all over again that she is gone. No more visits, no more phone conversations, no more birthdays, no more hugs, and nobody will ever say “mein Kind” to me again. My mom is the only one who said “Kind” to me and she did it up until the day she passed away although I am an adult.

So many things either remind me of mom or make me want to call her. With every room we are renovating I wish I could send her pictures. When Cash does something cute or funny I want to send her a video. If something awesome happens in my life I want to call her and share it with her because I know she would be truly happy and excited for me. I am 50 years old but when I got bitten by a dog, had surgery, and then found myself sitting alone at home (after Bob went back to work) with a full hand splint and horrible pain, I wanted to call my mom….and I couldn’t. It’s the finality of it that hurts so much.

Grief is interesting because it’s so different for everybody and it’s so unpredictable. There are times you even feel you are good, it’s over, you can think about that person without being in pain and then it hits you out of nowhere. While you are at the grocery, while walking the dog, or while cleaning the house. It’s usually at the oddest and most inopportune times and it hurts so much. You think about a ton of people you could call and talk to but you also know it won’t help because the one person you really want to talk to is gone.

It’s been almost 8 months now since my mom passed away and I miss her terribly.

Totally Simple Coconut Blueberry Smoothie

what you need:

1/2 cup homemade kefir (I strain the whey so my kefir is pretty thick)

1/2 cup coconut cream (like native forest for example)

1/2 cup frozen blueberries

stevia (optional – I did not use it)

what you do:

Blend all ingredients in a blender. Enjoy right away or place it in the fridge for a thicker consistency.

Guten Appetit!

Coffee Smoothie

It’s hot outside and I didn’t feel like eating a big lunch. A smoothie sounded good and since I am able to eat just about anything now, I decided to experiment with a smoothie recipe. It turned out pretty good.

Sorry – no pictures and I need to get one of those recipe plug-ins!

what you need:

1 cup strong brewed coffee or decaff

1.5 tablespoons coconut oil

1/4 cup homemade kefir (I filter out the whey so it’s pretty thick)

2 scoops LIVfit superfood blend

1 tablespoon almond butter

1 tablespoon collagen protein powder

4 drops liquid stevia

ice cubes to taste

what you do:

Place all ingredients except ice cubes in a blender and mix well. Add ice cubes to taste/thickness. Enjoy.

Guten Appetit!


Grain-Free Doggie Muffins with Frosting

Inspired by this post – thank you Marcie, for sharing this post with me.

what you need:

3 eggs

1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce

1 cup natural, unsweetened peanut butter

2 tablespoons coconut flour

1/4 cup coconut milk

tallow or lamb fat for frosting (coconut oil will work as well)

what you do:

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees. Blend all ingredients until smooth. Divide equally into 12 count muffin tin – greased or lined with muffin cups. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Slightly melt tallow or lamb fat until it reaches a creamy consistency. When muffins are cool remove from muffin tin and “decorate” with tallow/lamb fat. Keep in refrigerator.

I like to add a big spoonful of coconut oil when feeding these to the dogs.


Guten Appetit!

Low Carb BBQ Meatloaf Pizza

what you need:

what you do:

Line cookie sheet or other baking dish with aluminum foil and spray with cooking spray. Place tortillas on lined cookie sheet and spread desired amount of BBQ sauce on tortilla. Place a single layer of provolone cheese on top of BBQ sauce. Cut meatloaf into tiny pieces and sprinkle on top of provolone cheese. Now add shredded cheddar cheese, French fried onions, and cilantro.


Bake at 350 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes or until cheese is desired consistency.

Guten Appetit!

Chicory Coffee

I recently started taking chlorine dioxide internally as part of my treatment plan. Chlorine dioxide kills bugs (bacteria, fungi, viruses, parasites), breaks through biofilm, neutralizes heavy metals and more. You can Google it for more information or get Kerri Rivera’s book Healing the Symptoms Known as Autism. The new edition was just released and has an entire protocol you can follow not just for autistic children/adults, but also for other illnesses such as chronic Lyme disease.

That is not the purpose of this post however. With this protocol, you have to stop taking antioxidants because they inactivate CD. In addition, CD is dosed every hour for 8 hours a day, longer on weekends. Coffee has antioxidant properties (one of the reasons it is good for you) so I had to cut back to one cup a day. I now drink my very large cup (ok, it’s more like two) of coffee in the morning, wait two hours, then start dosing CD. I was drinking three cups a day (AM, lunch, dinner) prior to this and had to wean slowly. Weaning from the caffeine wasn’t that bad, but I totally missed having something warm and yummy to drink after lunch and dinner. It was the taste, the ritual, the warmth….all of it. So I started looking for something else. My first try was roasted dandelion tea because someone (probably on Facebook or on a blog) said it tastes just like coffee. I am not sure what kind of coffee those people are drinking, but that tea tastes nothing like the coffee I was drinking. Not only that, but it’s nasty. I mean nasty. I tried drinking it hot, cold, with stevia, blended with coconut oil, blended with coconut oil over ice and I just couldn’t deal with it.

So began my research for a coffee alternative. Of course it had to be gluten free so any kind of Teecino with barley was out. I ended up trying one of Teecino’s barley free concoctions which had chicory in it and that wasn’t bad. However, I did not like the price so I decided to order some roasted chicory root and roasted dandelion root from Mountain Rose Herbs. I realize I just said I hate dandelion root, but I found several recipes online which included dandelion root that actually sounded good.

After a lot of experimentation I finally came up with a recipe that works for me. Unlike other recipes, which call for equal parts of dandelion and chicory, I changed the ratio of the two. Adding more chicory makes for a thicker, more coffee like concoction and I actually like the taste of it. I blend it with coconut oil, just like I do with my coffee, and enjoy it hot or cold and poured over ice. Although this is good and I truly enjoy the taste, it does NOT taste like coffee. It’s “thick” like coffee, but has a completely different taste.

what you need:

5 cups filtered water

1 1/2 tablespoons ground, roasted chicory root

1/2 tablspoon ground, roasted dandelion root

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)

1 inch piece vanilla bean pod (optional)


what you do:

Either bring to boil and let it simmer for 5 minutes and strain or make it in a coffee press. Then prepare like you would prepare your coffee.

Guten Appetit!

January 2014 Cleanse – Day 5

Yesterday was not a good day. I had a nasty headache by mid-afternoon and in the evening I just wanted to eat. I held out for a long time but around 7:30 PM I finally gave in…and then regretted it. But today was/is a new day and I went back to fasting.

Symptoms AM:

  • Left eye lid mildly swollen, right eye lid extremely swollen
  • Heart rate walking around kitchen 145, sitting 74
  • Coated tongue
  • Mild anxiety/negativity
  • Slight upper and lower (sacrum) backache
  • No motivation
  • Very bloated belly

Symptoms Throughout Day:

  • Eye lids and face back to normal by mid-afternoon
  • Negativity went away but had mild anxiety on and off throughout the day
  • Heart rate improved because I took Metoprolol as soon as I got up
  • Feeling cold and cold hands and feet (it doesn’t help that it’s 10 degrees outside – fasting in July, when it’s in the 90s and humid, might have been a better idea!)
  • Very hungry
  • Abdomen more distended after broth and rest of day

Detox Support:

  • Chlorine dioxide enema
  • Castor oil mixed with essential oils (clary sage, frankincense, myrrh, peppermint, lavender) applied to abdomen and liver/gallbladder area while taking a bath with Epsom salt
  • Well Belly applied to abdomen after bath, and to bottom of feet at bedtime
  • Castor oil mixed with essential oils (clary sage, frankincense, myrrh, peppermint, lavender) applied to abdomen and liver/gallbladder at bedtime
  • Liposomal Vitamin C

Antimicrobials/Digestive Support:

  • Bee Propolis Extract
  • A blend of peppermint, rosemary, fennel, ginger, grapefruit, and cinnamon essential oils in olive oil
  • Digestive Enzymes

Liquids Consumed:

  • Organic coffee blended with coconut oil
  • Teecino Gluten Free Dark Roast blended with coconut oil
  • Filtered water (we have a whole house water filter for crud and fluoride)
  • Filtered water with electrolytes, micro minerals, and borax
  • Clear vegetable broth (from kale, parsley, cilantro, tomatoes, zucchini)
  • MISO soup (water and Miso Master miso)